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Setting: I'm E-filing my taxes and the software prompts me for my credit card information. I just read an email with an order confirmation on it. I don't remember paying yet, but I'm looking at the email now. I have an order number. I have an invoice amount. I have a link to "contact customer support." And I use it.
550 Alice: Hello Tom, how may I help you today?
Tom: Hi, 550. Or do you prefer Alice?
... After no response, I describe my issue. I've been told this is one of my issues - trying to place humor where it just doesn't belong. Restaurant servers. Taxi-cab drivers. Check-out clerks. Small children. Loan officers.
550 Alice: Tom, could you please elaborate the issue?
... I describe my issue in great detail with the order number sprinkled periodically throughout my description.
550 Alice: Okay Tom, may I verify the order number again?
... I provide the order number. Again.
550 Alice: Tom, may I have your Last name, phone number and complete address please?
...Like a good little servant, I gleefully provide the information that she should have right in front of her by now.
550 Alice: May I have your credit card information please?
...I quickly think about how I came to this request. You see, our credit card number was recently stolen and someone on the east coast is playing with $8,000+ worth of merchandise sponsored by us. Then, I remember that I contacted her. She's doing her job. I'm protracting her job.
As I'm digging out my credit card, I more closely examine the order confirmation email. Sunday, March 14. That was...um, wait a second. Not only do they bill me twice, but they can't even get their dates right. Sunday was March 13! What is wrong with these peop... Um. 2004. Sunday, March 14, 2004. Backtrack. Backtrack.
Tom: I'm sorry -- I just noticed something. I'm looking at an old email -- one that was dated March 14, 2004. Sorry.
550 Alice: I’m happy to clarify anything we’ve covered so far. How can I help?
Tom: There were two emails right together and the date was days off, but a full year apart. My mistake. Have a good evening.
550 Alice: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Tom: Nope. I'll end the session and hope you get some wiser people for the rest of your evening.
550 Alice: You will be asked to complete a survey after this chat. One of the questions asks if I have completely resolved your issue today. Can we agree that the solution I’m providing will accomplish this for you?
...Don't get me wrong, I know I'm playing the role of idiot in this story, but she has yet to realize that she hasn't provided any solution.
Tom: Yep.
550 Alice: I would really appreciate if you could take a short survey on my personal performance, you will find this survey as soon as you close the chat window.
...So I sit thinking about how that got so screwed up. I feel bad that I wasted poor 550's time. (3 seconds pass)
550 Alice: I am very sorry to interrupt you. If I have resolved your issue, I kindly request you to close this chat window so that I will be able to assist other customers. You will find our customer survey once you close this chat window.
...impertinent little agent.
SURVEY: Did this agent provide a solution that completely resolved your issue?
Tom (to self): My issue? Issues? I clicked yes. It's not 550's fault that I have issues that she can't completely resolve.
550 Alice: Hello Tom, how may I help you today?
Tom: Hi, 550. Or do you prefer Alice?
... After no response, I describe my issue. I've been told this is one of my issues - trying to place humor where it just doesn't belong. Restaurant servers. Taxi-cab drivers. Check-out clerks. Small children. Loan officers.
550 Alice: Tom, could you please elaborate the issue?
... I describe my issue in great detail with the order number sprinkled periodically throughout my description.
550 Alice: Okay Tom, may I verify the order number again?
... I provide the order number. Again.
550 Alice: Tom, may I have your Last name, phone number and complete address please?
...Like a good little servant, I gleefully provide the information that she should have right in front of her by now.
550 Alice: May I have your credit card information please?
...I quickly think about how I came to this request. You see, our credit card number was recently stolen and someone on the east coast is playing with $8,000+ worth of merchandise sponsored by us. Then, I remember that I contacted her. She's doing her job. I'm protracting her job.
As I'm digging out my credit card, I more closely examine the order confirmation email. Sunday, March 14. That was...um, wait a second. Not only do they bill me twice, but they can't even get their dates right. Sunday was March 13! What is wrong with these peop... Um. 2004. Sunday, March 14, 2004. Backtrack. Backtrack.
Tom: I'm sorry -- I just noticed something. I'm looking at an old email -- one that was dated March 14, 2004. Sorry.
550 Alice: I’m happy to clarify anything we’ve covered so far. How can I help?
Tom: There were two emails right together and the date was days off, but a full year apart. My mistake. Have a good evening.
550 Alice: Is there anything else I can help you with today?
Tom: Nope. I'll end the session and hope you get some wiser people for the rest of your evening.
550 Alice: You will be asked to complete a survey after this chat. One of the questions asks if I have completely resolved your issue today. Can we agree that the solution I’m providing will accomplish this for you?
...Don't get me wrong, I know I'm playing the role of idiot in this story, but she has yet to realize that she hasn't provided any solution.
Tom: Yep.
550 Alice: I would really appreciate if you could take a short survey on my personal performance, you will find this survey as soon as you close the chat window.
...So I sit thinking about how that got so screwed up. I feel bad that I wasted poor 550's time. (3 seconds pass)
550 Alice: I am very sorry to interrupt you. If I have resolved your issue, I kindly request you to close this chat window so that I will be able to assist other customers. You will find our customer survey once you close this chat window.
...impertinent little agent.
SURVEY: Did this agent provide a solution that completely resolved your issue?
Tom (to self): My issue? Issues? I clicked yes. It's not 550's fault that I have issues that she can't completely resolve.
posted by ShortStoryMadeLong at 11:18 PM
3 Comments:
Did I resolve your issue? If so, please wait a few seconds for a survey to pop up. I'd appreciate it greatly if you would chesk the "Yes, the agent resolved my issue" choice.
Sorry to interupt, I seem to have misspelled "check." I am sincerely sorry for this error. Please do not mention this error on the Agent Evaluation Survey. Can you please describe your issue in greater detail?
that's quite funny. I didnt know that customer service was available via chat windows these days... what an age we live in. :)
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